My sister is so very neurotypical. I'm not sure we'll ever be close. I used to think we were but since my diagnosis I am beginning to see just how distant we actually are from each other.
There is so much to say about that relationship but I can't find the words right now. I feel like such a failure in her eyes. I know she is constantly keeping watch to see if I slip up. She's constantly on guard in case I do or say anything 'weird', but I don't understand all the nuances to her rules. I cannot speak my mind around her, because I know she does not want that. I honestly don't know whether she wants to know the real me at all.